Wow, what a loaded word – love! Our life revolves around love, loving, and being loved. Quora tells us that “ LOVE is what keeps this whole operation going and in place. It’s so important to love because it gives us something to do, something to hope for, something to believe in, something to invest in that makes life worth living.”
Really? Let’s start with something more fundamental than this. I know of a woman who lived with her man for over 7 years before she finally said yes to his repeated professions of love and proposals. She always said she was afraid to commit because everyone in her family had committed and failed. There was much dysfunction in the her family than grains of sand in a box. He said that she was not her family, nor does she need repeat their path.
A few years later he asked about them having a child and she was reluctant. One night she admitted that she was afraid to have a child because she thought that the children would love him more than her. What would possess a person to think like this??? Before you jump to any conclusions, this story is 100% true, sad as it may be. The good news is that they did have children.
Unfortunately the marriage didn’t last and the children did stay with the man.
Why would this happen. What are the signs ? A true tragedy.
You can tell when you look at yourself and think:
1. I don’t feel good enough about myself and can’t be the “true” me in front of others.
2. I always pick the wrong mate for myself because I can’t imagine the good ones being with me.
3. I fall back on food, drugs, or alcohol for comfort and to ease the pain.
4. I always blame others for my problems, yet when I move on, the problem moves with me.
5. I feel lonely, yet I surround myself with people because I am uncomfortable alone.
6. The little voice in my head keeps telling me I am ugly, too fat, too skinny, too dumb, not able to do things like others, or that I just can’t do it.
7. I want to escape, I just want to get out of here and do a reboot.
8. I feel Suzie is prettier, John is smarter, Melinda is stronger, George is more mature, Beth is ….
9. I really don’t know what my purpose is, what am I supposed to do with my life? I’m not really good at anything.
10. People are always looking at me and judging me. Stop judging me!
Things you can do to change your life around and love you, love your body image!
1. First and foremost forgive yourself. Make a list of all the negative things about yourself, your mind, your thought, your body, and your self-esteem. Then write a letter to yourself forgiving yourself of all these thoughts and feeling. List each individually and say “I forgive (your name) for (x, y, or z) for beating myself up for this feeling and promise never to do this again.
Then take your list of negative and have a funeral for them. Go to your fireplace, or outside somewhere where it is safe and give a eulogy to the effect of, “These are my negative feeling which I do not deserve or give any consideration to anymore, they will have no hold on my life in any way. This funeral will be the end of all negativity in my life. I burn these thoughts to never exist again”. Then burn them.
Photo by Jackson Hendry
2. Stop the Junk! Junk food, junk TV, junk books, and junk people around you. The old saying of garbage in equals garbage in. They say that you are the combination of all the crap around you and if you don’t take a leap of faith and change the garbage in your life you are cursed to stay in it for life. Take a stand for your life, your sanity, and your happy – stick to the positive.
3. Write your own manifesto of boundaries. Make a list of all the things that you want to be positive, things that are important to you, things you need emotionally.
All too often people let others walk all over them, all over their boundaries. Stand up and say no to being used, a doormat for others. This only happen when you let them. It comes back to you, you are responsible for your happiness. You need to take charge and give yourself permission to be the person you want to be. You need to give yourself permission to LOVE YOURSELF.
Photo by Raphael Mittendorfer
4. Take care of yourself. You know what you need better than anyone else. Sleep properly, eat healthy, exercise, enjoy quiet time, go for walks, and constantly give thanks and show appreciation. It is so important for you to have and share gratitude for everything. The more you give thanks the happier you will become. You are filling your mind with positive and happy thoughts.
Photo by 时间 往后
5. Be in the present. Live in the here and now, the past we cannot change, the future we do not know, but the here and now is with us and in our total control. By living in the now we can script how we want our life to be. Take the time to focus on the aromas, the colours, the vistas, the tastes, and the feelings of the moment. We only truly have NOW so we should savour them. By savouring them we are pulling more enjoyment out of life, enhancing the moment, focusing on the positives. And isn’t that what life is all about, squeezing each drop of pleasure out of it?
Photo by Gabby Orcutt
Let the inner child in you come out and play.
Love your body image